What to do now?
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 8 years. We have a 4 year old daughter. Over the years alchohol has been a problem. At some point when I was pregnant I became suspicious about cocaine use because of the people he was around and then he went out and wouldn't turn up until the next day. We broke up when I was pregnant but shortly before I had my daughter I let him back in my home. Eventually he admitted his use to me but described it as occasional.
There have been so many problems: he won't maintain employment, never has money, always wanting to party, telling me he'll be home and just not showing up. He moved out for a while and moved in with someone else and I started to move on with my life as well. He ended up losing the new gf after about 6 months and moved in with his mom. Even though we weren't "together" we spent a lot of time together and foolishly i started dating him again. Of course the all nighters started again shortly after he moved in with me. I would kick him out and the we'd make up and he'd come home. I guess I thought if I kept him close to me I would know what was going on and would be able to keep him from using. Pretty funny I guess.
A month or so ago I found money folded up with cocaine inside. I never confronted him. I'm not sure why. Anyway after a few more out all night incidents and I couldn't handle it. So he is back with his mom. He is seeing his daughter and I know he loves her. This is so hard for me to understand. He is such a talented person and can be so tender and wonderfull.
I am taking him to court to increase his child support as we had originally agreed on the a ridculous amount. I do need the money but I also feel the less money he has for drugs and alcohol the better for all of us. Of course he is furious and says I'm trying to "destroy" him.
I hate him in so many ways but of course I love him at the same time. My question is what do I do now. I never confronted him this last time about his use. Should I tell him that I know he is using and I am concerned or should I just keep my distance. He has never used around his children but I'm concerned because I never thought he would have the nerve to bring that stuff into my home as I have told him I would turn him in to the police if he did. The obvious lack of judgement scares me. I want him to have a relationship with his daughter but I also need to know that she's never exposed to his use. And how do I keep myself from being fooled by him again. I believe he will not change but I so want the family. I need some help.