aztchr

Some of you may have read my posts about my sister who had relapsed and then other posts about my mom and her negativity, attitude, etc.

Well, today I was over for a family dinner and to see my niece. My sister was fine, we interacted well, she was taking care of her daughter, etc. My mom on the other hand was really out of it. She kept saying she had a headache, didn't feel well, etc. I reminded her to keep hydrated (usually she's out of state during the summer heat to visit my grandma, but she hasn't left, yet.)

Anyway, long story short, but dad talked with my privately and told me my mom's been taking too many pain pills. I didn't comment, just said oh ok, thanks for letting me know. He was warning me of her behaviors lately. (Mom is an ACOA. My grandfather passed away from cirrhosis and liver cancer.)

I pray for them all, but especially my dad. He's doing everything he can to stay afloat and not ask me for help. No wonder my dad has pulled away from my mom. He's trying to detach. I'm caught in the middle because my mom gets upset with my dad and tries to talk to me about it.

Well, I guess I just needed to write and sort all of this out. I can't really do anything about any of this. Just keep putting one foot forward on my own path. I just feel so bad for my dad dealing with both my mom and sister in the house. This is where the guilt comes in a little for me. I want to be able to help my dad and fix everything, but I know I can't.
He just wants me to live my life and take care of myself, but I know he's hurting so much, too. He hears about it from my mom if him and I spend any time together, lunch, movie, etc. and then I feel I have to justify my time with both of them.

Sorry for rambling, just more of the same story of the disease.
I'll keep trying to do my best to stay healthy. Some days are just more difficult than others. I thought with time and practice it was supposed to get easier.