Usually, when I drink, or relapse, it is because I just wanted to. I didn't want to call anyone, I didn't want to ask for help. I would just go to the wine aisle at the grocery store, grab up a bottle and skip all the way home.
Logical? Not in the least. Was I obscessing over it for days? No. So, why did I do it? Because I wanted to. Period.
Stupid? Absolutely.
That's just me, though. The way I look at it, is that alcoholics, drink. Drug addicts use drugs. That's just what we do, hence our titles! So, I think it's natural to want to go back out...at least for a while. I think the 'cravings' subside over time, but, the beast will always be out there lurking, waiting for a weak moment to pounce. I just have to not be stupid, and say to myself, "hey, there's my friend, the beast! Let's catch up!"
Honu