thank you all so much it really helps me to know people understand.
I just dont get it- all my life the simple things other people just DO naturally are such a HUGE effort for me, all my adult life , for instance i have never been able to initiate any kind of physical affection, it renders me utterly paralysed.
Sometime looking out through my eyes it feels as though the rest of the world are getting on with life and being normal while i sit here and rot with all my stupid problems and issues that i never seem to resolve.
What the hell is wrong with me? i dont have a bad life, i have a home, a job three beautiful children, i dont know why "i" cant cope when others can, it makes me so angry.
I know PLENTY of people who drink like i did- i know plenty of people who drink more than me too- my husband being one of them! and you know what? IT DOESNT BOTHER THEM ONE BIT. they never stress about it, worry about it, obsess about it- i cant decide if my worrying and quest for self improvement is a GOOD thing or actually A BAD AND TOXIC THING!
so so confused at the moment, i think i will take your advie and just see a dr- he must be getting pretty sick of the sight of me now
My brother is bi-polar and has had three shizophrenic episodes, he has been sectioned severel times, and is a chronic advanced alcoholic too.
I just want to run from myself but theres nowhere i can go
