I have run into this in several meetings. It truly bothered me in very early sobriety. I would sit there and be distracted by the kids, getting a resentment against the parent for not controlling their child. Finally after a few years I was able to change my perspective and see the parent as an alcoholic who needs help. I don't think I could have viewed it any different in my early sobriety. I realized what irritated me the most about the situation was that when I was drinking I was no more in control of my kids in public than they were. I would be embarrassed but did not want to make a scene by disciplining my child and having them cry and scream. So it was easier to let them run hoping that they would stay somewhat quiet. Once I was able to see the parent in a more compassionate light I am now able to be of assistance to those people. What I do today is try to distract the child and keep them from being disruptive. I have even taken them outside for a walk to allow the parent to sit through the meeting. I realize that for many young parents it is difficult to find the time away from a child to attend a meeting. Ironically, a meeting is really what these people many times need. I have taken a fussy baby and walked the halls with it so the mother could have some peace and listen in the meeting. Yes, I too could have used those meetings but I also have a responsibility to the alcoholic who is suffering even if they do have a few days of sobriety under their belt.
I am by no means perfect, there are days when I still get frustrated about children in meetings. Fortunately where I live we have a few meetings that provide childcare so the parents do have options. Having seen this problem from two different perspectives I am grateful that I have never been the parent sitting in the AA meeting trying to find a solution to my problem and having to deal with my children at the same time.
I do not say this to appear judgemental of anyone on how they handle or feel about children in meetings. I am simply sharing my thoughts and experiences on the subject. Please share yours. How do you handle the problem? What is your opinion on the issue? Does you homegroup have a plan in place for this? Have you ever been in the parents shoes? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Judith