Good. You just threw up the toxic anger. That's a good start!
Now......what are you going to do for YOU today? Your post is full of "him". It's time to start concentrating on YOU! If one therapist doesn't work out, find a different one. That way you can start out fresh without the "ghost" of the ex interferring with your recovery.
All of the emotions you are feeling are important but it is also important to move through them. It's a process.
gentle hugs