You are worth more than this strongerwoman. You deserve not to be used as someone's emotional punchbag!
My AH lashes out at me like that when he is feeling guilty or bad about himself - which is a lot of the time! Its like he wants me to feel the way he's feeling because that will somehow make him feel better...I think? My budding detachment really helps here! Not that I'm impervious to it all but I try and take any emotional sting from it - he's like a spoiled child lashing out at those closest to him. Imagining quacking instead of words! It has just the same amount of meaning. IMO his head is so messed up with alcoholism that getting him to say what he means is impossible never mind meaning what he says!
Hang in there. Life is full of possibilities and opportunities that will likely vanish if you take him back! Take time to mourn the loss of your dreams with this man and then start to look after yourself!
Read the stickies and I can recommend 'Co-dependant No More' by Melody Beattie - its a real eye opener.