((((Obsessed))))
It hurts thinking of where you are right now and how many times i have been there.
That feeling of anxiety and worry has to be the hardest to bear.
I know I'm not very good at it. When I haven't heard from my son for a while I can go into panic mode also. All possibilities of why he's not calling clog up my brain.
And it always happens just when I think I am doing okay at detachment.
But at least I am down to just needing to hear his voice. I have long sense given up on guiding, let alone controlling his life.
Its amazing how one Little phone call can bring such incredible relief... (sigh)
I believe its different for us parents of addicts. All parents worry but We know our children can be in trouble so our worries can get pretty big if we let them. So the need to hear from them is very understandable.
Although I still worry, I have begun to understand my worry isn't going to change anything.
I have been there so many times and each time he's popped back up. So I've wasted hours, days, and the stress I have placed on my mind and body during that time is probably taking years away from my life. I know it takes the quality of today away if I let it. Sometimes it has paralyzed me.
It hasn't done that for him. when he calls he's cheerful as can be.
So when I feel I am going there, I tell myself the odds are he'll pop up because he always has so far. And if my fears are realized I'll know soon enough so why worry about it twice?
Wait for a reason to worry. What else can we do?
All we can do is take care of our mind and heart.
Until I hear otherwise, I am choosing to believe all is well. Its the healthiest thing for me to do at that moment. And then I PRAY PRAY PRAY.... And ask God to walk beside him for me. :praying
Cathy