day by day
I have never posted here before, but have lurked for the last few days. Reading your posts has helped me get to this point. I am working on day 4 of sobriety. A little background, for the past 10 years or so, I would drink at LEAST 15-20 beers a day/night. I was what I guess most call a "functioning alcoholic". I have a good job, a wife, kids, I am active in my community blah blah blah. It was obvious to our friends that I could "put'em away" when we were together in social settings, but nobody but my wife and I really knew exactly how much drinking I really did. Black outs pretty much became a nightly thing, and the days were mostly a hangover fog until I could pop the first beer after work. Never really drove drunk as I did most of my drinking at home, and if we were out, my wife was the perfect designated driver (she does not drink much if any at all).
About a year ago, I realized that the urge to get home and get drunk was the number one priority in my life. Not my wife, not my kids, not my job, but just the beer. I started missing my kids school functions, or making excuses not to do things with my family in the evenings so that I could stay home and get drunk. A lot of times, I waited until they were in bed, wife was asleep on the couch, and then I would really tear into it and drink as much as I could as fast as I could. I tried to "slow down" or just drink on the weekends as you hear people say, and needless to say, failed miserably.
The last few days have SUCKED!!! I have done it at home and by myself (I already know, bad idea) but I think I am through the worst of it. I have felt progressively better the last 2 days, and have no urge to drink right now at all. This weekend will be rough I am sure, as I am sure we will have our Memorial day cookouts. Anyway, sorry for the rambleings, but it feels good just to type it out and tell "someone" about it.....