Thank you Smoke.
You are really true..
It in fact it goes by pulsions..
Everything is ok, and next thing I know, I want to call her and find myself shinning again in her eyes.
Today, I started writting.. Not about Stacey, and my feelings for her anymore as I did before again and again... I wrote about me! What I wanted to do from now on. I also studied A LOT. I went on many web sites and studied the effects of cocaine and methamphetamine on the human brain. These drugs do so much damage on people... I now doubt that did even meet the real Stacey. Her body was perfect, surely due to the use of methamphetamine, and her outgoingness and fast thinking was surely the result of the drug itself.
I should just concentrate on myself, and on the incredible friends and familly members I had around me during this very hard time.
I just did not understand the ilness of being a drug addict. to me, you just have to stop taking it...
Stacey had hallucinations, irational violent behavior, and would not sleep until 4-5 in the morning...
Is it a real advanced state of addiction?