just checkin in
My sponsor (NA) really wants me to stay connected to this website. I know its been a while, so here's an update:
1)My 19 y/o AD Leah started on HIV meds a couple of months ago and to everyone's amazement (hers, mine, the Infectious Disease doctors, other recovering addicts with HIV...) the meds are working!!! Her viral load went from over 120,000 all the way down to under 500. They aren't supposed to work if she is still using. Well they are. That's God doing God's part.
2)My daughter, once she realized the meds were working, decided she didn't want to get clean right now afterall, turned down a detox bed she was waiting for, and went partying. Which I totally expected (as an addict myself I would have thought the same way while using). That's the disease of addiction doing its part.
3)Two weeks ago she put herself on Suboxone (boyfriend gets if for her from some street dealer or other. (I don't care how, really) and she has not used heroin for 2 weeks. (God)
4) she's still smoking crack. (Disease of addiction)
5) She remembered my birthday (may6th) and was charming. (God)
6) she did NOT call on Mother's day and did not return my 2 messages prior, about getting together on Mother's day. (Disease of addiction)
Me? I'm doing much better. Partly because I know she's not going to die any time in the near future from AIDS. Partly because I got really tired of being miserable. I've still got that nagging anxiety not hearing from her for Mom's Day. "Is she OK?" "Did something happen?" Yeah, I'll tell you what happened. She is cluelesslessly acting out on the total self-centeredness that is the hallmark of the disease of addiction.
Love and Peace to all of you,
sleepy