You've gotten so much great advice. I wanted to say I can relate to so much of your post. I too am a mom who deals with an addicted man. Here it is at almost 3 AM on a Saturday night, and he is supposedly on his way home from "work" (a M-F 8AM-whenever the heck he feels like it office job, BTW). I just called his cell (because he is supposed to bring me cough medicine - I'm sick) and he claimed he is in his car but I know he isn't; I don't know where he is but the acoustics were.not.in.his.car. {sigh} I have been posting on a moms website for many years, and in some private forums where I've gotten comfortable I have been complaining about him for about 5 years, so I completely understand about reading old posts and feeling like you are saying the same things over and over again.
Have you gone to a local Nar-anon or al-anon meeting? That was such a great start for me. I started going in October '06 and it literally changed my life. I am learning how to truly be happy regardless of his behavior/actions. I still have good days and bad days, but at least I have my own program to work when it gets really tough.
And I love this site, I love posting here and reading a post like yours and completely understanding every single word you say because that is the life I live. It is really helping me to sort out what I need to do for my future and the future of my kids when I read these posts. Going to al-anon helps me stay focused, too. I hope it can do the same for you.
Hang in there. And Happy Mothers Day to you. :ghug3