I've read a lot, and find that way of thinking (Schaler feels addiction is not a disease but a choice) does not address the underlying causes of addiction, which for most of us, is drinking or drugging to avoid feeling our feelings, IMO. AA and NA address the feelings, have a set of steps that we work to get to these feelings, to work through them. And I think that most of us really need support. If you've formed your own group of people from rehab, maybe that will work in the same way for you. The problem is that none of your new friends have a lot of time sober, and in AA you meet more people who have. They've lived sober, worked through what you're going through so you will get some guidance. You don't have to reinvent the wheel, so to speak, the experience, strength, and hope is to be found in the rooms of AA and NA. Your choice boils down to what you believe. I believe that alcoholism and drug addiction are diseases. I don't think that anyone would choose to be an addict. IMO, we addicts are allergic to alcohol and drugs, in a way that most people, who can handle a drink or two, are not. We only have the choice in whether to take the first drink or drug, and we make that "choice" every day. Personally, I find that my own choices weren't all that good. I need support right now to make the right choices. Who can help me better than other addicts who have been clean for some time? I don't know how to do it on my own. I tried to beat this thing on my own last year (365 times!!). I also needed to learn to relate to others and reach out to others and to share. I never shared or let people in before my recovery. I had to learn how so that I can get through these feelings that I used to anesthetise with drugs or alcohol. If you didn't drink to bury your feelings or "fix" your self worth, if you just drank too much as a choice, for entertainment or whatever, and you can stay and learn to live sober alone, then you are stronger than I am. I urge you to give AA a committed try (90 in 90). You know, if it doesn't work after 90, the other way will still be out there for you!
Good going on staying sober so far. Alcoholism is tough to beat, I hope you do it whichever way you decide, you'll still have my support and respect.
KJ
