You are all right something is completely missing in our relationship. I love him I really do, but love does not equal happiness. The happiest times in my life are when i'm with friends and he is out of the picture. This weekend was the best time I've had in a long time. And the worst..... I did the unthinkable.....
I cheated. I'm in shock that I let it get that far, but at the same time it's opened my eyes and I need a change. Nothing is going to come of this other person. We've cut ties again. I can't say for sure if it will be permanent because we've cut ties before. I don't know, I'm at a loss for words right now. I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I don't know what to make of my life. I don't know where to go from here.
I guess I was just reaching out for an emotional connection. For someone to feel and understand my pain. And to care about me. And now I feel confused and empty. I'm so tired of feeling empty.....
codeinewife said it perfectly, happiness and joy of living. How do I break free? How do I find the missing pieces that AH has taken out of me?
I'm so scared to stand on my own.