digeridoo -
hi and welcome to sr.
I tried AA five (was it five - or is it six now) years ago.
I had similar, but not the same problems with the whole 'God' thing.
I wound up back 'out'.
Five years later - I'd be back in AA
and unspeakable thankful for the miracle
that I'd made it back at all.
While I respect and honor your choice to seek alternatives...
I pray for you it doesn't take what it took for me to stop for good.
AA is not the 'only' way.
It is instead the 'only' way that worked for ME.
I hope the best for you,
and that you'll continue to post so others
who are either too intimidated,
flat out afraid - or otherwise unable to attend or try AA ...
can learn from your experiences and maybe find a way that works for them.
The point is to remain sober.
The point is - to remain ... alive.
Because whether it's a disease or not -
we alcoholics wind up nonetheless ...
the same kind of dead.
And that is the bottom line with alcoholism.
I look forward to reading more about your journey!