Hi Paul:
Welcome to SR. I completely relate to your reluctance to accept Alcoholism as a disease. and the GOD thing really turned me off at first too. However, as I read the chapter in the Big Book "We Agnostics" and "The Doctor's Opinion" I was willing to at least give AA the benefit of the doubt.
I wish you a lot of success in your "controlled" drinking. I tried it many times and in many different ways over the years. It never worked for me personally.
"You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber" comes to mind.
Good luck my friend,
Artur