Paul--believe me, I understand where you are coming from. My religious upbringing was Southern Baptist--Hell, Fire, Brimstone>strike you down with a lightning bolt type God. My God today is anything but those things--today He is love, compassion, forgiving, merciful, and most importantly>Bigger/stronger than my addiction.
Do not let any prejudice concerning a Higher Power/Supreme Being deter you from honestly asking yourself what it means to you. (Sorry, can't remember the exact phrase).