Thanks for your comments so far.
Angelina - i have tried interpreting god into those sayings but find it difficult, as i sought of blame part of my drinking upon my religious upbringing.
Suki - In accepting its a disease or illness, i have to accept that its something that i cannot control, therefore i find that aspect of it hard.
Least - I like that phrase about enjoying it when i'm not in control and when controlling i wasn't enjoying it. I have spent the last couple of weeks drinking in a controlled way and if i'm honest with myself haven't had an enjoyable time attempting it.
I will continue to visit here. There is no way i want to go back to where i was 3 or 4 years ago, which i look back on as my rock bottom. Or even go back to where i was last year of going one week with a drink and the next week without.
For now i find it difficult to rule out a drink in a social setting. If the programme i am on doesn't work i know the AA is there.
Paul