In ... out... up... down.... :)
Ah... the chaos continues!
But it isn't like it was "before". This time, when my kid relapsed, she came to us... then a week later, we were still suspicous and a UA proved our suspicions were true-she had used again.
So we set a boundary... one more dirty UA, and we call CPS and talk to them about mama being an active meth addict and let them make some choices about how to rear her children.
I told her I wasn't even sure I would keep the kids in that situation. As another mother told me, I have the option of being an active, involved GRANDMOTHER of children in foster care. I don't have to have them here where she might have easy access and manipulation.
I think she heard us.
So she has been attending some meetings... talking the talk, anyway. And wouldn't you know - on the way to her 2nd meeting - she totaled her car. The (new to us) car we got her 3 weeks ago. A deer popped out in front of her... and she was driving too fast for conditions... actually WAY too fast, probably close to 60 mph in a 35 mph zone... sigh.
The good news - neither she or 4 month old baby were hurt. Bad news - baby was buckled into the car seat, but the car seat was NOT buckled into the car! Good news - the car seat was wedged firmly against the driver seat. Bad news -- it did tip over. Good news.... it scared the absolute bejabbers outta my daughter.
The other bad news is that was the BEST CAR DEAL I have ever made! Got it a state auction for less than $1,000! It was a 1998 Taurus - the luxury model with electric driver seat and all the options, with a very VERY clean and nice interior. In fact, the insurance company is giving us two and half times the price we paid... so it really was a good deal.
And she had it three weeks.
Damn.
Son is still smoking weed- lots of it. Seems to be on the verge of losing his trailer home and his Bronco. Saw him today for a few minutes and reminded him that when he "went back out" (he was sober for almost two years), I told him he might start losing things... and he told me then, that if that started to happen, he would NOT keep doing the same thing.
Today, he was saying he remembered - and he was doing the best he could do at this time. I believe him. And keep him in my prayers... he is such a good kid.
My grandbabies keep me hoppin' - so many new faces every time I get a minute to stop by.
What I can tell the newcomers is this - things can and do get better. When I first got here - I was a mess. There are days that can still be bad, for me. But they are fewer and further apart than before.
The biggest difference for me was joining Alanon, getting a sponsor and working not only the steps, but attending an ongoing Tradition study (which helps me with relationships). For those who have never attended Alananon - it takes a while, but after a half dozen meetings or so... I found I was feeling much better. And back then - I would have done almost ANYTHING to feel better... it was bad.
I wish you all the best... ((hugs))