As the mother of two alcoholic daughters, I can say that when a parent is struggling to accept a child's alcoholism, the first thing to come to mind is blaming self for the child's alcoholism. It's only natural, and I was sure it had something to do with my parenting. That is extremely painful, and even though I have worked through it now and realize I didn't cause it, I can't control it, nor can I cure it, I stayed in denial for quite some time because I was avoiding the pain.
I am the first in a long line of alcoholics in my family (on both sides) to break the chain of alcoholism, and that comes with a unique set of challenges, mainly that none of the family members quite know how to deal with a relative in recovery, and the delicate balance of generations of dysfunction has been upset.
My recovery is not contingent on the acceptance/non-acceptance of any family members.
There are times my parents can be toxic to me, and those are the times I cut off communication while I am charging up my spiritual battery, so to speak.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (other people and their attitudes),
The courage to change the things that I can (namely, me and my attitudes),
And the wisdom to know the difference.