wellgrrl

Hey there...

I've posted a couple of times here. I've been married 10 yrs. When we got married, both of us drank. Three years ago, we made the mutual decision to quit and as far as I know, he's never slipped. I did, about 3 wks. ago. He does not know that I slipped. Frankly, I feel that if he found out, he'd divorce me. He is a a very "black and white" thinker. Basically, he quit, hasn't turned back (supposedly) and thinks everyone should be able to do the same. It's frustrating sometimes, but I do love him. I'm ashamed that I slipped up.

On to my question...he occassionally, not often, but often enough to bother me, brings up the topic of alcohol when he sees something like a commercial on TV or something in the store, etc. I find these comments to send a very mixed message. Like last night, we're watching TV, and a Miller Chill commercial comes on. The commercial ends, and he makes a comment that "it doesn't look half bad (*tasting* implied)". My comment back was something like, "Why would you care?". Nothing back from him.

Problem is, I think about alcohol (and drinking or not drinking) EVERY DAY (especially since the slip up). I really don't know what to think. I admit to doing this sort of thing myself (like I still look at the fancy schmancy drink menu at the local pub restaurant we go to...and envy the yummy sounding fruity things on it).

For someone dead set against alcohol, he seems to be okay with it, which seems weird to me. Any comments/advice?