unigirl

Dunno whats up with me, i have trouble explaining my emotions and feelings sometimes, so please bear with me! I dunno...i just feel quite low today and i know it's ok to feel that way - im coming up for 3 months sober which is fantastic for me (dont think i went 3 weeks without drinking since i started at 14). But im still feeling extremly anxious at times, and very frustrated with myself too. I look at others and long for their confidence, serenity.
I think i am desperate for some peace of mind. I just want to feel ok - but i never really do for long.

I guess it's still early days and there is still lots of work to be done-most days i've been feeling quite good, struggling a little at nighttime, but in the day ok. I think at night all the anxiety and fear creeps in as im alone just laying thre- it can be really horrible- i feel incrediably lonely too at times. But today i've just been compleltey flat trhoughout- with bouts of anxiety to boot!. Had an arguement with mate- shes going out with a complete loser and i always end up telling her this and then we argue. I cant hep myself- i have to interfere and i dont like that part of me at all. I just feel an obligation to butt in and give my opinion and i wish i could just not! And not feel the need to at all. Just be tolerant and accepting... I feel like i dont even know myself- i dont know who i am at all- and trying to work on things can be really hard because of this. Im doing step 6 on sund so this may improve that area of things. I hope so. Sorry for such a moany thread, normally im quite positive in threads- but im told its ok to feel scared and angry at times- so i thought i'd just share this, and it may help!