What I do ... pray and leave them in God's hands.
This is truly the only thing that you can do.....I know that it hurts but really we just have to take care of ourselves. I am broken up with the xabf and I find it so hard b/c I want to be able to sit him down and knock sense into them but The harsh truth is that you can not.....no words that you say will make them chose to get sober.
Hard to wrap your mind around but that is truly how it is. Sorry you are going through so much right now.