ichabod

It's been a bad night.

My husband is an alcoholic. He's the type who will be sober for months and months at a time, then he starts drinking a little, then he gets out of control, then he stops for a few more months. It's a merry go round that is so tired and old but one I'm used to so I don't get off. My problem, there, I know.

I just feel like I need to vent a bit.

I've suspected for the last few weeks that he was drinking again, but I didn't see it or smell it so I tried to go about my life and not dwell on what he is or isn't doing. Tonight our 14 year old went to a party and my husband was supposed to pick him up (I don't drive). I went to wake him up and it was clear to me at that point that he was drunk off his butt. He couldn't even stand without swaying. I was around him all night and didn't see him drink, but I also wasn't looking for it. He claimed he was fine to drive and tried to leave, so I took his keys and then took a taxi to retrieve my son. When I got home, he wasn't here and still isn't. The car is out there (thank god) but I don't know where he's stumbled off to.

I know he's not my responsibility but I love him. I just don't think I can do this much longer.

Not looking for advice...just needed to get it out. Hang in there, everyone who is going through something similar. You have to wonder how a life so full of promise becomes so full of pain.