My sister was a stay-at-home mom (of four children) for the last 20+ years. She was able to get a legal separation from her husband and have him leave the home. Her husband was ordered to pay child support, spousal support, and keep her and her children insured throughout their separation period (which lasted ~5 years). She's now actively divorcing her husband and her STBXH has been ordered to continue to provide health insurance for her and spousal support for life (due to the length of her marriage).
Her attorney specifically recommended that she seek a legal separation and NOT seek a divorce until after she reached the 20 year mark of marriage so that she could ask for life-long spousal (and health insurance) support.
There may be similar laws in your state, too. It's best to consult with a good divorce attorney. My sister's lawyer may have been expensive, but he didn't steer her wrong.
Best of luck to you and please get that order of protection and do everything in your power to keep you and your children safe.