Hey There,
I think you might be living my life, all of what you said sounded very familiar to me. I'll try to be brief but could probably write 3 pages of commentary!
FRIENDS: I'd here many, many times 'just loosen up and have fun' and 'you're too uptight'. Truthfully, I love to loosen up and have fun but trying to keep my alcoholic wife from hanging on other guys at dinner is not my idea of fun.
180 EMOTIONS: There were many times my wife would do horrible things and then just say sorry or I won't do that again. If I didn't accept that fast enough then she'd get enraged at me and tell me how she was sick of putting up with my $h1t!
BOUNDARIES: You can't set boundaries for the alcoholic. My wife promised me she wouldn't drink again, but she did. Because of the 'boundary' she chose to hide it and lie about it.
God bless and good luck...