Here's another update...
Well, yesterday was an awful, awful day. I called a few detox centers and most of them were full. The two that weren't were just too expensive and required me to be there too long.
So I decided to just keep doing what I was doing... keep weaning. I made the switch from hard alcohol to wine.
I was OK most of the afternoon and evening. But by late night, when I ran out of the alcohol I had purchased (just enough for the day, no more than that or I'd be tempted), the bad withdrawals started up again. One minute I was feeling totally fine. The next... SEVERE anxiety, panic, shakes, dizzy, vertigo, racing heart.
When I began having (mild) auditory hallucinations early this morning after a completely sleepless night, I decided it was time to go to the ER. So I took a cab because no way could I drive, told the lady at the front desk that I was in bad withdrawals and felt awful. They sent me back immediately and took my vitals, asked some questions.
Surprisingly enough, the doctor and nurses were extremely capable and kind. I was so embarrassed but relieved to finally admit to a health care professional that I am an alcoholic. My vitals weren't as bad as I thought they would be - bp wasn't as high as it had been 2 days earlier at the walk-in. They weren't bad enough for them to admit me. They didn't have a detox facility at their location or they would have admitted me to that, though.
So the doctor prescribed me some librium and gave me a list of numbers to call. (The same numbers I already called unfortunately).
Today has been a little better though, and I have yet to take the librium. I may do it shortly before trying to get some sleep because I have been unable to sleep for days.