Thankyou for all you replies and support. Soj your posting was somewhat harsh " I am not somewhat of a soft drug dealer" " He stole the money and he purchased the drugs himself.
While I appreciate your posting and there is much honesty in some of the things you say from your point of view " What you are saying is if I had charged him a year ago he would have no access to our funds therefore would not have purchased drugs with my money, so that makes me part of his purchashing of drugs. Yes I have stood in the way of what may be recovery for him.I should have let him fall a long time ago. From what the police and drug counsellor have told me charging him will not make him better it only protects us, now he will have to find other avenues for money. Wich I sure he has because he has a $300.00 a day habit with no job. There isnt a parent on this board that at one point did not think they could help there addict. Having a drug addict son does not come with a list of rules of do's and dont's for most of us it is a learning process. It has taken both my spouse and I a long time to realize he is sick there is nothing we can do it is totally out of our control. If we continue to help him we are only making it easier for him. I do get that he has to get to the bottom before he gets to the top. I also realize that he may never get better. I did not put my son in a dangerous place he did. Asking if I should accept phone calls is not a sign of caving in. Why I asked that is I know many parents from the naranon group have allowed there son or daughter to call once a month or whatever, reason being is to make sure they are still alive. The calls were not for the addict, it was for themselves. I am already at the point I know I have to detach from him. I spoke to him last nite I told him not to come to our home, or our workplace or charges would be laid. We told him no money, absolutely no help with anything. He was on his own. Of course there were big crocodile tears all part of the manipulation tactic. I can not live my life around his addiction anylonger.