My husband is like GQ guy when he is sober and does not drink--he is friendly and has a good heart-----And when he drinks, he is like a hick--not attractive. He told me that he wrote a 10 page paper for his recovery program on how drinking does not make him a better person (and I was like "Duh!")
My husband's uncles had problems with alcohol/drugs, and they now live with his grandmother. It is like they have given up on life, dealing with social situations, having a job. They just live with the grandmother because they have health conditions. It is stressful on the family, because they do not know what the uncles are going to do if something happens to the grandmother. But the grandmother has set up the finances to be handled by my husband's father and mother so they will be allotted money for living (basically they did not want the uncles to spend their money and then not have a place to live).
But his mother, father and brother do not have a problem with drinking. His brother is actually a little older than 40 and would be a great guy for a woman to date--he is still single--he is just not aggressive with dating women-he likes the outdoors and hiking--he is very laid back--6"5"--reminds me of a Eddie Bauer guy.
We now do not drink around him because we are supporting his recovery.