Originally Posted by
LaTeeDa 
Why is your opinion of yourself dependant on whether he loves you or not, whether he was using you or not, whether you were his ticket to keep drinking or not? Is your worth as a person based on what others think of you, or what you think of you?
I guess because I always try to see the logic in everything. Everything for a reason kinda-thing. And I guess because deep down that is what is probably true. If we'd been dating for much longer, and if we'd begun dating when he was sober, I think I would KNOW for a fact he wasn't using me. But now, I'm not so sure. No, my worth as a person is not based on what others think of me, or what I think of myself, it's just I have a history of being a "fixer". I don't want to own that title. It's just from my experience, just about every guy I have ever dated needs to be fixed. (I know, I know, that speaks volumes. I've gotten help on the subject - have been to counseling - and nothing ever works - even when I tell a guy "No, I cannot date you", I end up doing it anyway. But SOMETIMES I am successful with my decision not to date them - sometimes I can walk away, sometimes I can't. it's weird.)
And why do you need to believe that he doesn't want you to see him like this in order to be positive? The guy is getting help for his addiction. That's reason enough to be positive in my book. Especially when it's someone you love.
I meant that I was being positive about not thinking that he was just totally using me. I DO know that he was using me, without a doubt, but I am trying to be positive that that wasn't all of what it was. I AM totally positive about him getting help - he IS in the right place - and that's a wonderful thing!
Also...one more thing....I know AA teaches that you shouldn't get into a relationship for a year after becoming sober. And being that he has gone thru this a few times, he knows that.....