Originally Posted by
triciafawn 
I appreciate your bluntness, anvilhead. but what I am saying is that I refuse to believe that I was JUST an enabler. I am not going to lessen my opinion of myself to think that he just thought of me as his ticket to keep drinking. We had a really cool relationship. If he was truly using me and abusing me, I would admit that wholeheartedly.
There may have been more to it. Most relationships are terribly complicated, especially those with an A. But that doesn't take anything away from the fact that he was also using you. That he was is as clear as could be.
Originally Posted by
triciafawn Until I know otherwise, I will not accept the fact that he was only with me for that reason. As of right now, I am going to be positive and think that he isn't talking to me right now because he doesn't want me to see him like this and he is ashamed and embarrassed. I may be in denial, who knows, But I WILL be positive.
Being positive does not preclude being able to look honestly at what your relationship truly was. You did enable his drinking, intentionally or not. He did use you, whether he feels more than that or not. He may be feeling shame and embarrasment right now (rightly so). That doesn't mean you should not take a look at yourself, your behaviors and choices and take an honest inventory of yourself. That can be a wonderful eye opening experience that leads to a better you and indirectly leads you to a better way to suppot him if you want to do so.