Tricia,
I'm so glad you're seeing that you yourself are going through a form of withdrawal. So many of us (me included) take a long time to come to that realization.....that we are as addicted to them, and as in need of recovery, as they need their drug of choice.
I too was in a near-perfect relationship, in my eyes (then). We were tremendous friends, passionate lovers, travel companions, buddies. But I never saw my xabf sober either. Alcoholics are wonderful people to be around sometimes.....mine was funny, sweet, creative, drop-dead brilliant. But you cannot know what he is really like based on his behavior under the influence, and imho if you have never really spent a lot of time with him sober, you do NOT know what kind of man he really is yet.
So, for what it's worth, I think you are doing the right things. You have successfully set a boundary for yourself (which incidentally was a trigger that got him to finally get help) and that's great. You are also being self-protective, knowing that being with him right now is definitely not where you want to be.
Cut yourself some slack. Take a deep breath. You're doing just fine - you don't need to ask anyone else's opinion to know that you're doing the best you can for you (and you're the only one taking care of you right now....) Asking his family, friends, teachers, counselors what you should do differently for HIM doesn't help you to take good & tender care of yourself. Does it?
Focus on YOUR life: what do YOU want? Tomorrow, next week, next year? Can you focus on your own needs, wishes, goals, dreams, and let him focus on his own? Do you keep a journal? I found that was really helpful to me as I was making the transition to healthy detachment from my addicted loved ones.
Good luck, and hugs to you