Standing still in recovery???
Hey guys, I haven't visited this forum much, I'm usually on the substance abuse forum so let me give a little bit of background on myself.
Moved down to Florida in early November to live with my parents. I am 22 years old and have been dealing with a heroin addiction for the past 2years. At the time in NY I was living with my exgf who I managed to drag down with me. Anyway I realized there was a problem with a college student like myself spending over 200$ a day up my arm everyday not thinking twice about it. So I come down to Florida move in with my parents and tell them about my problem and ask for help.
Really wonderful parents, they were shocked and upset but put me into a detox facility along with a 28day inpatient program. Everything was going great, i was getting my life back together. Not dealing or using drugs anymore, transferred universities and continued along with life.
I am somewhere around 4 months clean and feel very strange. I have not embraced the program of NA or AA. I tried out meetings at first when I first got out of rehab but I don't know it wasn't my thing I guess? I am going through a lot of weird feelings lately though. Sometimes feeling like it would be alright to push off one more time being that I could enjoy it to the fullest and not worry about being dopesick anymore. I have found myself calling my ex and seeing what she is up to and seeing if she wants to come down and visit me??? Just weird things I guess. I figured by now I would have moved past all these things and not wanted to go back to it??
Would the steps have helped me go through these times?? Am I going about being sober the wrong way??? I am not all that much more happy right now then when I was actively using, I just don't understand.....
Any response is appreciated, Thanks ~~