Hi Kit, I've been reading you posts in this thread. I'm glad that you didn't get in to a lot of trouble when you went out.
But think about this: What would it be like if I wasn't avoiding my past, trying to forget those awkward situations, the embarrassing things I did, what if my experiences could help someone else? what if they became my greatest asset?
I too was fearful of going to meetings, for many reasons. I suffered a lot because of it. Today I can't imagine my life without them or my friends in the program. It is by no means all of my life or all I identify with, but a very important part of who I am.
I think you will find what the rest of us have!