Thanks for your responses. They all pretty much echo what I've been feeling about the whole thing, but sometimes it's nice to hear it.
Laurie, thanks for the Al-Anon and Salvation Army suggestions. I'm definitely going to mention both. There have been many times I've been tempted to direct his parents here, so they can read other peoples' stories of struggling and coping- but I still don't think they'd "get it". They're both in their 60's, and they just don't have a concept of what it's like today. I suppose dropping a URL in an email wouldn't hurt. Thanks again for your support! (needed that today.)