Day three
Some posts I put on the newcomers board, and then realized there was one just for us alcoholics. Any input, feedback from people will help me in my recovery process. Thank you in advance:
I have decided to go to a meeting. Talking to wife tomorrow, maybe tonight if she's still up when I get home. As I search for meetings online, there are all these acronyms, e.g. part, WS, SS, Spk., some have none. I know what they mean, but which are for me? I know no WS (Women's Stag) what exactly is a MS (Men's Stag). At a spk (speaker meeting) do I need to talk? I was wondering which one a newbie should try. The only Beg. (Beginners) meeting I see is on a Sat. afternoon, and that's many days from now. I have had this list printed out for almost 2 years now. I'm trying to act upon it, but I wanted some advice first. I am very nervous about this, but if the people are anything like the people here, I know I'll be OK. I tried an AA meeting once while in college, the guy I met at the meeting was militant (no relationships, no sex, read the book every night, etc, etc, etc). I was turned off, and this was about 6 years ago. My dad also thought I was over-reacting to what he called "normal college life" (This from an AA for 20+ years at that point.)Anyways, any advice, help, etc would be great. How did you get to your first meeting?
So many people would give a crap if I drank. How can there be so many people that just want to see other succeed at sobriety? This is wonderful. I'm still in class tonight, and the 7-11 across the street is SCREAMING my name to get my beers for the car ride home, but knowing that so many people care is sobering. I need to find a meeting in my area. I need to talk with my wife. I think she will be so relieved to hear that I am trying this. That I am doing this. A lot of times she doesn't believe me until I have stuck to my word, and I have broken that too many times; what time will you be home, don't take any money out of the bank, how many beers did you have today, why do you hide the empty cans in the trash, where the f*** were you, I was worried sick, SLAP!! Does the desire to drink ever leave you? My dad has been sober for 25 years (his birthday was just last month) and I always want to ask him if his desire has left him, but I don't. He goes to meetings every day still. I was wondering if this was due to his desire to still drink, or to just get out of the house away from a toxic relationship with my mom. His last drunk was when I was 4, so drunk that he couldn't find his way home from his brothers house. Got lost on the freeway. I guess a counseling session with my parents when I was younger said that I may have deep seeded issues that may have to be addressed becasue of this incident. I have no recollection of this. But I'm starting to think that I may have inherited my families history. 3 dead uncles, one from alchol, 1 from cocaine OD, and one from Heroine OD (this last happened 4 years ago while I was in college, he was sober for 6 years, and just finished his masters preogram, God I miss him! and get so pis*ed at him too!!). Sorry, at lunch in school and trying to keep my mind off of beer. I think about drinking alomst every minute that I am not consuming myself in something else, e.g. this board. Thank you everyone! This was going to be a short post, but my fingers just kept typing. Thank you again..........