((((dixied))))
I wonder why you feel you have to be the one to soften the blow for him? The papers will come and he will know and perhaps he will share with his counselors and get feed back and perhaps learn some coping skills out of it.
With you being the bearer of bad news it sounds like a codie behavior of trying to fix the situation.
My mom the eternal fixer of my addicted siblings has 3 active addicts living in her home right now all of them are over 40. My oldest brother is in his middle 50's and still dependent on mom to fix everything. I can't help but wonder if things would have been a lot different at least for her if she could learn to keep herself out of their business...
I am not trying to sound harsh but I think it is an aspect that might help you to see your role in this....