(((Dixied)))
Sorry you are even put in this position.
As for your son, I can only give you MY experience as an RA. I have had to deal with more than a few things, and initially thought "what's the use of staying clean", but I know that if I go back to using, I will just have to face even more consequences later on.
Actually, the fact that he is where he is, I think, is a good thing. He is with people who are also learning to live life without dope. If he truly wants recovery, this will not stop him. Yes, he will be sad, heartbroken, but he can get through it...and stay clean. Nothing you, or anyone else says, can make him go back to using, just as nothing said to him can make him stay clean....it's all up to him.
As far as how to tell him, I think that depends on your relationship. In my family, we've always been pretty much blunt and to the point, so that's what I expect. How has your family dealt with bad news in the past? How would you break bad news to him if he wasn't in recovery?
Unfortunately, this is a consequence of his using. I hope that he sees that, as bad as this is, it will only get worse if he goes back to using.
Sending you and your family hugs and prayers!
Amy