dixied

Friends,

My son is in long term residential care and has been there doing moderately well for three months. The director said my son's hardest problem is staying focused.

In the next few days my dh and I are going to visit him. we have to be honest and tell him his wife has decided to divorce him and he will be getting papers within the next few days.

Decisions have to be made on whether or not he wants a lawyer and if so does he have a preference as to whom would represent him. There will be a custody issue on supervised visitation. This is what my dil wants . She also wants me to be the supervisor of these visits. I feel like that will again put me in the middle and I don't know if I want that responsibility. I don't even know if my son would agree to that(supervised visitation) as he is very meek and mild and never ever hurt anyone. His wife however is insisting on supervised and I don't know what kind of choice my son might or might not have. She is asking that their home be sold to pay all debts and I don't know if he has a choice in that either as all the debt isn't his. So I do guess we should ask an attorney about options.

I just don't know what to say to my son or how to say it to him about the divorce and papers coming, I just know it will fill him with great sadness and I truly hurt for him.

He is trying so hard in rehab but his wife says basically she has lost trust in him and she doesn't always want to live in fear of a relapse. I also feel that to a certain extent she is ashamed of my son and just wants to get on with her life.

In my heart I am afraid this might make my son feel like ,"what's the use?" He can leave the program at any time and I think this might lead to his leaving. Does anyone have any advice for me on what to say or how to say it? I will not lie to him but I dread having to answer his questions. Thanks for listening.........dixied