Hey mtnmagic...Congrats on your 35 days...That's great. And congrats on sticking to your boundaries and letting your son face his own consequences. Handling all this at the same time takes strength and commitment..You are showing both!
I too would suggest trying to find some meetings...AA or Alanon or a little of both. You're a wonderful person and a good mom and you shouldn't be alone in your head with guilt and shame. Face to face support and coming here will keep you remembering to focus on you.
Hugs.