Originally Posted by
karisma 
I do think that setting boundries with the kids would be a great idea. If he drinks in front of the kids, I will remove us from the situation. My parents live in town and we could go stay with them. The tough part with that is that is my husband likes to drink during the times we have family things. Holidays, Birthdays, family vacations, visiting relatives. I can easily remove our children from normal situations, but how do you handle holidays, family vacations, and birthdays? I can't take my kid away from his own birthday party, or leave the house during Christmas. So removing the kids and I from the environment wouldn't work, any ideas on how to handle those type's of situations?
This is what has worked for me.....I have asked my AH not to drink in front of the children. He has respected this boundary thus far, inside the home. We were outside visiting with neighbors one afternoon, he was offered a beer, and he took it. I excused myself and my daughter, and went home. My son was still there, playing with his friends.
So for me, I chose to remove myself and my daughter from the situation. This was easy to do. Had we been at a family function, of course it would be very difficult to leave with the kids. So, it goes back to no drinking in front of the kids.
Dinner with the in-laws is coming up this weekend. Don't know if my AH will drink or not. If he does, I'll have to live with it. But I will certainly let him know later that it violated my boundary.
Also, I've let my AH know that I am in recovery from what the alcohol has done to our family, b/c I am a part of it too. And, as part of my recovery, I absolutely cannot see him take one sip of alcohol. I'm not saying "don't drink", I'm saying "don't drink in front of me or the children". I'm also not saying whether this is right or wrong, but it is what
I need to continue in my recovery.
Another thing about boundaries which I've learned here. You can change/modify your boundaries as you go along, and as you learn more. They are not set in stone....
Hope this helps
You. And this is about
You, and your decision to learn how to better live with/deal with the alcoholic in your life.
Please take care,
Shivaya