My husband is not physically abusive and does not drink daily. He can go for a few weeks or even a month if he wants to, but when he does drink he can't have a few beers. He drinks for 2 -3 days straight. He stays up all night drinking. I am sure like others we have very difficult times in our past were I was at wits end and mentally checking out of the marriage, but he always seemed to turn around and be good for a while
Right now he doesn't see that he has a problem, because he doesn't drink every night, and he cleans the house, cooks dinner and takes care of all of us. Which he does and it is awesome, but it would be even more awesome if he did those things because he loved us and not so that he could use it as leverage for an excuse to drink.
Wow....it is amazing how similiar this sounds to my xabf(of 2 weeks). This kind of behavior is mentally exhausting for someone that is in a relationship with an alcoholic. What you just typed here sounds EXACTLY like my ex. He is a very good person that just liked to drink and would do the exact same things that you mentioned above(clean the house, cook and take care of me) right after he new that he had drank and messed up. He knew deep down that he had a problem but just would not admit it fully and refused to get help. I of course fought back and wanted him to get help and he just did not want to and after 4 yrs we split-He left me and chose the alcohol over me.
I was not married and had no children with him but I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that you are not alone. The only thing that I can say now is that you have to decide whether to stay with him and continue this battle or leave him and get yourself and your kids help.
You asked the question-is it possible for him to change?- sure it is......but only if he truly wants that. The unfortunate thing about alcoholism is that no one in this world can help the alcoholic but themselves.
Hang in there and keep on typing. You will find others that are in the exact same situation by just reading.