Welcome here at pull up a chair !! I was married to my XAH for 22 years and he was as he told me an alcoholic too when I married him. He never changed and he never reached out for sobriety. He eventually left the kids and I for a female alcoholic/drug abuser and they were married 4 days after our divorce was final. YOU need to take care of YOU. You can not change him no matter what you do. Only he can change himself. Click on any of our names to read our histories okay. Be gentle with yourself and by all means go to al-anon and help yourself.