Paulos I am an alcoholic as a result I know what OCD is, I spent years and years obsessing about alcohol and compulsively drinking alcohol, I had a disorder!!!!
Paulos there are a bunch of folks here who love you and want to see you get better, most of us once we admitted we could not stop our OCD for alcohol alone sought help through a program of recovery!
No one here can help you Paulos until you take some action to help your self!
You need to take action, you need to reach out further then your keyboard for help.
You need to call your doctor and tell him you need help!!!!
There is help for you Paulos, but you have to do more then type I need help on your keyboard, you need to call someone and get help.