Duet,
I have been in the same situation. I believe that my ex's motives were simply to stall and delay. Almost a misery loves company.
I spent more on attorneys- getting all those papers signed.. listing.. purchase agreement.. sales... The delays cost far more financially but more importantly- time and energy then had it been sold for a HUGE loss- immediately!!
If I am correct arn't you responsible for half of the mortgage until it sells? What about the other bills? Taxes, electricity, H20, lawn care? It is pure hell trying to keep a home maintained while selling it when you live somewhere else.
If I could do it all over again, I would give up anything- to be completely detached, especially financially. My ex did not "care"- was incapable of thinking or acting rationally. The consequences were disasterous- for BOTH of us!! Most importantly our children. I found that it really did not matter what the divorce decree said- regarding anything. Or what the laws say. If he doesn't care what others think, doesn't care about going to jail, doesn't have a conscious or feel that it is okay for him to do whatever and just say- he is sorry.. he is sick.. he didn't mean to...
I loved this quote, "fair is a place that pigs go to and win awards."
Just my experience, I wish that I had accepted and moved on. Depended solely on myself- not "expected" him to do anything- or thought he was capable of it. He wasn't.
So, personally I would try to get before the judge immediately and get a complete seperation of assets and debts. Make him take out a home equity loan to pay off ALL credit card debt and have your name taken off of accounts. Including paying YOU off of the home. Go ahead and give it to him at a "deal"- Add up what it would cost you to pay for and maintain it until it sells. Your ex.. is showing you HE does not want it sold- he is already stalling.. making it hard to sell-with this talk of septic and termite problems. Don't underestimate a person like that... Next comes, broken screens and doors, all kinds of "little" problems...
If you decide to go the other way and pay him- I would ask the judge to put the funds into a trust, I believe you have children? To ensure that their child-support is taken care of. My experience has been that addicts who are not willing to work on sobriety when they "risk" losing their families- if that isn't their bottom. They REALLY get bad after they lose them. Their disease progresses unbelievably fast.
I hope that is not the case for you or your addict.