Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your words of wisdom and experience. I feel less confused as time goes on. Its not easy, I keep getting pangs of hurt and I feel like I just want to sit and cry, but I'm keeping my tears at bay by forcing myself to remember why i am doing this. I must be really delusioned to love a person who may have stolen from me, and who has emotionally and verbally abused me. Its just that each time I think these thoughts, I also think that this was due to the drinking, which leads me back to if he recovers from this..... However, I know now that he isn't recovering at this time and that I cannot live with him anymore because of the never ending circle of stopping, starting, being horrid, stopping, starting... That was draining me and hurt so much that I know for my own sake I cannot go down that path with him anymore.
I can see now that he hasn't really made any progress, and I have decided that going to AA meetings alone isn't recovery. Looking back I don't know why I thought it was!
Originally Posted by
appleblaster 
Have you ever made a list of dealbreakers?
Nope, never. Just tried to think of some, and nothing came to mind, how bad is that!!! I'm going to start one though because I am adamant that I am going to make some changes about myself and how I respect myself.
My dealbreakers...
1) Stealing
2) Cheating
3) Lying
Well thats a start. I'd be interested to know other peoples breakers for ideas?
Thanks again to you all for helping me through another bump on my road!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx