A
You obviously have a difficult situation. And maybe it ISN'T fair.
I am the addict in our family. Recovering.
As I read your shares it would appear that most everything is about HIM. He seems to weild great power by virtue of his addiction.
I would suggest that you make it about YOU. That you can control. You should not be ashamed that you cannot control him. There's the man and there is his addiction. Addiction is winning. You are losing.
You didn't ask to have an out of control vehicle coming straight at you. It doesn't matter if it has the face of your husband. Save yourself and your babies, Mother. Your husband and his disease are a different matter and beyond your control, and perhaps his. If he had a terminal disease (he may) as bad as it would be, you would be forced to think of the rest of your life and your children's - without him.
Best to you!
warrens