I'm afraid of not loving him. I'm afraid of not needing him. I don't know what I want. On one hand I want to hate him. And on the other hand, I don't want to hate him. *sigh* I'm so confused and filled with hatred and bitterness that I actually hate him just as much as I freakin' love him. I don't want to give up. I'll feel like there was still something I could've done to make things work. But he's not doing anything to make us work.