((duet))
It's normal to feel this way. I personally think you are in the angry stage of greif for all that has happended including yesterday. It's been traumatic duet. You've been through a war. Unimaginable torture has been used. You've been betrayed but worse, your kids have been betrayed. You've had to take steps to protect yourself and your kids against the very person who should have been beside you, not against you.
If a stranger had done these things to you, it would be easier to let go, but the fact that someone you loved and treasured, the father to your kids, did all that he did, that hurts to the bone, it also makes the anger much more intense. Anger can help us mask some of that hurt, at least for a little while, until we can deal with it, and process it.
Just don't let it consume you duet. You have the tools to get through this. Use that anger and hatred you feel right now to help get you through a short period of time, but don't let it turn to bitterness, don't allow it to harden your heart, use it then let it go.
Sending lot and lots of hugs and prayers to you. Be aware of the stages of greif that you may experience, feel them, work through them, if the tears come, let them fall, if you feel like smacking your EXah upside the head, go to the rocking C and find something that needs to be demolished and have at it. Just try not to hold any of it in.
We are here for you, we rejoice in your new beginnings with you, and mourn your losses with you too.
B