jazpoppy

My alcoholic ex is calling and leaving messages about how irresponsible it was for me just to pack up and leave him at my mom's apartment (he said he was leaving me that day, so I was very happy, and told him to get his own ride). He hit me the night before, may have fractured my tail bone (lots of bruising). My alcoholic mother is in rehab for her prosthetic leg. She doesn't care about herself, all she cares about is that I am there to buy her booze, drive her around (not usually, she's too depressed to get out the house), wipe her a&& when she has diarreah (not kidding), wash those butt blasted clothes, and all the rest of her clothes, go shopping for her, cook dinner when she feels like eating instead of drinking, give her a sponge bath, and wash her hair, empty her pee/poo poo pot (comode) that she uses during the night, each morning (I gag and have all I can do not to vomit), clean for her, when she feels like watching me clean (she usually tells me not to bother when I ask, then crabs at me because the apartment is messy, I do her dishes, cook her meals when she decides to eat more than vodka/soda, yogurt and canned fruit. Drive all over hell and creation to find magazines for her, go to Market Basket to do her shopping, then she'll forget something and I'll have to go back. I begged her to make a long list so I don't have to be up her butt every minute of every day. I have to change her bandages on her leg ulcers. I have to help her get her prosthetic on (its been over 6 months, she should be walking on a cain by now (at least that's what the doctor and her therapist/nurses say. She won't. She is on that damn walker, and she gets so drunk she falls down, and ended up back in rehab at a nursing home to learn how to walk on "you guessed it" a cain! Lots of people have partial leg amputations (below the knee) and I am not saying its easy by any means, but she doesn't even try. She kicked out her home-visiting therapist, her nurses from the visiting nurses (they could have bathed her, and helped her with her ulcers, not me, I am NOT qualified!) She didn't want a counselor for alcoholism, or for depression, and didn't want a home-maker from the VNA that would come in and (take the burden off of me, I have a family) do her laundry, dishes, shopping, cleaning, and meal prep all at NO COST TO HER!!!! I ran away cuz my tail bone was fractured, I could hardly walk, my legs were swollen from a medication allergie, and my doctor said I needed 7 days of bed rest, but my mom said I did not, I was over exaggerating my pain, and I should just learn to live with it, she is the poor little victim, I am the horrible theif of a daughter, that had to use her ATM card for gas for her car, and to fix her car for 700 dollars so I could drive it to do her errands, she was looking at ther bill and said that I didn't ask her for the money, she says she would have made me walk all over town and carry the groceries and laundry by hand (BTW, I have SEVERE spinal stenosis, 3 herniated disks in my back, severe arthritis of the facet joints in my spine, a busted knee cap (needs to be repaired), achilles tendonitis in my left ankle, a poorly taken care of fractured right ankle (from years ago) but I still get pain and swelling in it as it was never set and pinned like it should have been. So I'm a bit slow. My ex-roomie/bf alcoholic a&&whole says that I am a CUNextTuesday, B!+ch, and a childish person that doesn't act 31, and he kicked me in the back, helping to fracture my tailbone, and missalign my right hip (which I just had put back by my Chiropractor not too long ago. So I RAN, and I RAN fast. I have been away from those people for weeks now! I am with my REAL boyfriend (someone I should have stayed with, but left him because of distance 1.5 hours away, in another state, I felt I could not move because of my son and my mother, and at the time, my good paying job. Well I have my son's blessing, as long as I rescue him from borring gooner land at least twice a month if not more, he loves BOSTON, and loves my real boyfriend (whom I dated for 3 years, before leaving him for 2. He took me back and I am so very damn glad! He is WONDERFUL! I should have moved down there years ago and none of this would have happened. Oh hind site is always 20/20! Well, here I am now and I could not be happier here!

Any advice on what I should say to my alcoholic ex bf/roomie about storage (I want my stuff, I don't want him to keep it at his new apartment thinking I'm coming back to him, and I don't want him to sell it. I want to pick my stuff up. So I am having a hard time paying the 40 dollars I owe for my half, so I was going to ask him to cover me, and I'll mail him the money once I get paid for a computer project I am doing in Cambridge. I also will tell him to bring Gizmo (our chinchilla) to the humane society or a local elementary/middle school. Gizmo was by birthday gift almost 2 years ago from my AB/Roomie, but he always told me that if I left him he would keep Gizmo or find a home for him, I could not have him. So I will stick by his word and pass the buck on to him (he actually bought the damn thing!). I loved Gizmo but have no place for him where I am staying now.

Any advice? Am I being a child? Or am I taking care of myself and learning to love myself because I just felt so overwhelmed taking care of such demanding people who picked at my every move, and he even hit me and called me horrible names. My mom called me names too and told me to toughen up and live with the pain, and that I should not have pain medication, its a mask and I should suffer like her. I can't do that! She's NUTS! Feedback please! I want to sleep sometime this morning, I need to know that I am not a horrible person. Thanks.

Love

Jaz